Roland Austin Steffy

     Whew that's a powerful title to this entry. I have been wanting to write one about him for a long time now but it just seemed like tonight was the night. Born on July 9, 1945 and passed away all too soon of Arteriosclerotic Cardiovascular Disease on March 28, 2001. I don't know a whole lot about his life before me so today I'll just talk about what I know.
     Legend has it that I was destined for another name of Abraham but at the last minute my mother caved into my father and I was named Austin. Like many young couples, they had problems of which I will never know the extent but at some point they separated and as such my mother started calling me by the name she wished, Abraham. I always knew of my father as such the earliest memory I have is of seeing Star Wars with him in Missoula, Montana. My mother never spoke ill of him so I always looked forward to his visits and letters. He managed to send me letters and called me from time to time to see how I was. I know now that he had a difficult time connecting with me but looking back I feel that he had every chance to walk away and never see me again but he didn't.
     Since my mother was raising both of us she always was hustling trying to make the best out of our situation. There were times when we moved, looking back I wonder how he found us thought I am sure she told him. The country was very different than it is today. No facebook, no internet (though he did tell me it was coming around 1983ish. That crap I cannot make up), so it was i imagine it was harder to find someone back then. As I was told there were times when he told me he was coming and wasn't able and on one particular time I told my mom that I learned how to be a father from one time I was let down.
     We eventually moved to Federal way Washington and it was there that I learned of my true first name of Austin. He followed settling into Renton and when we decided to move back to Michigan in 1990 he stayed. I went back to visit after I graduated two years later, and he asked me to stay but I wasn't ready yet to be away from my mom. I don't know how it happened but there was a couple year blank years where there was no contact between us until one Christmas when I was working at the Post Office, I expressed him a Christmas card to him to be delivered on Christmas Day. This was after I had ended my time in the Navy but It's hard to remember what year it was. I remember we resumed contact and started talking to each other again.
     Shortly thereafter a cousin of mine had passed away on his side. I didn't know him but my father came up to be with the family and during this time we made peace with the past and he asked that I forgive him for not being there. I never was mad, I just missed him terribly through the years but never mad. He went back to Washington and then his mother passed away so he came back for good. There is alot that happened when he came back and I really don't even remember everything but some of the last things I remember was going to a Tigers game at Tiger stadium against Baltimore, Cal Ripken Jr was still playing. I have the hat still that he bought that day and I also remember going to see Saving Private Ryan with him as well. When he passed away I was simply devastated. Without him in my life again just shook me to my core because this was something we couldn't just fix or talk out. It was over.
     There have been many events that have happened since he passed away that I would have loved to talk to him about. The most obvious one would be Lily and Sara. He never knew them but I know he would have loved them as much as I think he would have. I sometimes wonder if I am leading kind of life he would have if things had worked out with my mom. Being there for me and her, working hard, coming home every night and mowing the yard. I know he had friends but he told me that he didn't drink much anymore but I imagine that if he was married then he wouldn't have drank much anyway, like me.
     How do I wrap this up? I could type for hours but I won't hold you any longer. Thank you for reading this and I want to tell you it's ok to forgive and let things go, you just never know what you can gain from giving in just a little. I opened the door that he told me he thought was closed, and when he passed away he knew that I loved him with all my heart.

So I decided to get into a little bit of a discussion with two people today about same sex couples. Now I normally am very busy and I usually tune most things out if I am concentrating but today I dropped everything when i heard this latest rant. The people I know and I consider friends but it just set me off hearing one of them saying that gay people have a chemical imbalance. I am not a scientist, nor biologist, and certainly not a doctor but to hear this said just set me off. They wanted to argue that "they" have something wrong with them. I immediately asked them if the had any proof to back up this claim? They obviously said no, and I said you cannot make these kind of statements. While there was more to this exchange, i feel that would be wrong of me to elaborate on since they are not able to defend themselves. Another friend chimed in with the same old tired statement the it is in the Bible that it's wrong. I responded back quickly with how exactly do we know this is what God wanted to say? If the Bible is wrote by men then can't it possibly be wrong? We have no definitive proof that God wanted the Bible wrote in this way. I think that the Bible is a useful guide but not the sole tool to be used to lead our society. I don't have time to argue which religion has the true God but my point is this. I like these guys on a personal level and I respect their opinions, well actually only one of them, but I just hate this argument that people use. If we consider any individual today as crazy if the commit any horrific act because they said God told them to or they acted on the behalf of God, why can't we see a flaw in the writing of the Bible?
I can say I won't judge anyone for their beliefs and opinions and I welcome conversation on these topics but voicing your opinion on the pretense that it's of because its in the Bible is wrong. I accept that you don't like peanut butter but I won't say you are born differently because of it :-)
 I went on about it and I must have had that look of defiance on my face because they backed down and I had to walk away. I will continue to be friends with them because their opinion on this subject is not who they are as a person. One person's opinion cannot be the defining characteristic of them. In my mind I was closed to such thoughts. As a youth I wouldn't agree with myself today, but therein lies the beauty of being human. I didn't change because I was exposed to more gay individuals than in years past, I just recognized that each of us deserves to have happiness in their lives. 

As a new blogger I think this will take some time to get used to. I love the idea of having a blog but I think the key is to write something interesting and maybe even thought provoking. When I ended the last post I had a idea to talk about the local news regarding the Lansing area casinos, but while I was formulating my plan a few things happened.

You may have heard that Michigan became a right to work state. While I will never use this forum to trumpet my political views, I must make a commentary on the response to the law being passed. We all are fortunate to live in the United States. One of the most celebrated rights that we have is the right to free speech. During the protest to the vote some of the protesters decided to tear down the tent of right to work supporters because of their stance. While people we under the tent, some protesters danced and carried on top of the tent. In addition a vendor who was paid to be there, had his cart destroyed as well. All this was going on as the cameras rolled.

Another incident happened at Sandy Hook Elementary. While this got the most coverage for obvious reasons, it pains me to hear about the backlash the shooters family has gotten. There may not have been any signs, regardless what the media reported. His family grieves as well and it should not be forgotten.

So with the upcoming new year I am  trying to decide what I want to say. In my personal life I find that what gives me comfort and happiness is hope. I am eternally hopeful that things work out and I know this drives my wife batty. Many times I have had some ideas and dreams but that is what keeps me going. When the Mega Powerball lottery was counting down, I had fun in thinking of what I would do with the money. I was so hopeful but it, sadly, wasn't me. For me though being hopeful gives me something to shoot for. Just for fun, here are some of things that I am hopeful for right now.

 I had hoped to go back to college and here I am almost done. I hope to get my pilot's license because of a time I flew with my dad in a little two seater airplane when I was younger. I hope that politically we can have more middle ground. Too many times I have seen heated debates regarding some political issue and it's mostly along party lines. I always hope to be making more money but many times in my life when one bill is paid another takes it's place. I hope for good luck for three of my friends who are going through divorces. They are each wonderful people and deserve to be happy. I hope we will make contact with aliens this year. I am a huge fan of movies with aliens but hopefully they are peaceful. The one thing that I am most hopeful for is the continued progress my family is making, continues. While there were many highlights, there were a few low-lights. I am hopeful that I will meet new friends and strengthen the friendships I have with my current friends. Lastly I am hopeful that you, the reader, has a positive year, whatever it may be.

Hello everyone!
Welcome to my blog. Thanks for taking the time to check this out today. So what's this blog going to be about? I will be discussing a variety of subjects including recent legal news, the happenings in Lansing and who knows what else! This is my first adventure in blogging so I hope you like it and come back.

A little about myself. My mother raised me herself and we lived in a couple of different states including Michigan. Our travels took us to California, Montana and Washington. This was both a hindrance and a benefit. We came back to metro Detroit in 1990 and in 2001 I met my future wife. That story is for another day! In 2004 we moved from Belleville to Lansing to pursue a career at Michael's Arts and Crafts. I couldn't get behind that and then for the better part of 6 years I worked in collections with a couple different companies.

My wife and I married in 2007 and in 2009 we welcomed our daughter to the world. It was during that time that I had a gut check. I was 35 and no real employment prospects. I was doing good in my field but I wanted more from life and I felt I could offer more to an employer than just the ability to make a customer pay a bill. Without the background and any education my prospects were slim. I had thought about continuing my education but unsure of what to do. My first idea was health care but my wife suggested the paralegal program and I am very glad she did. In the fall of 2011 I enrolled in Lansing Community College and it's been a blast. I am currently unemployed but I stay home and take care of the house and my daughter goes to a head start program for a couple of hours per day but no daycare for her. I take most of my classes either at night or online. We live with two cats and one dog 0n the south-side of Lansing. I am not a fan of the area but I've lived in worse.

I could go on but that's not the point of the blog. It's to share my views on the different subjects. I welcome you to friend me on Facebook, Austin Steffy and if you have any comments please share them. Tune in next time to have a conversation about the progress of the proposed downtown casino.